Something to live for
by ubyrai
Summary: "Why would you care if i were gone?" Warning...Attempted suicide. T should suffice. Please read and review. No spoilers.


This is my first ever Fan Fic. Say what you want. Its a little dark.

Disclaimer: If i owned Full metal Alchemist or its characters it would end up being horrible. :P

Enjoy...

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"He won't notice." Winry sighed as she put on her best overalls and folded them over at her hips, exposing her stomach.

"He never does, I don't know why I try."

Edward Elric was coming into town for automail repairs. Winry got the call this morning.

Winry picked up the phone while it was ringing.

"Rockbell Automail repairs, Winry speaking."

"Oh...hey Win" a low voice on the other end of the receiver spoke.

"Ed?"

"Hey...Yeah it's me"

"What have you broken now?"Winry sighed.

She worked so hard on Ed's automail in particular, spent many sleepless nights on it. Trying to make it the best she can. So it was the least bit bothersome for him. She worried that if it broke while Ed was fighting and he died it would be her fault. She couldn't live without him as it was but living without him and knowing it was her fault would be hell on earth.

"Well my arm is kind of... not moving."

"What did you do to it?" She gasped imagining the state all her hard work must be in.

"Well I was in some trouble... and I think I fused some wires or something."

Winry sighed, she had been doing that a lot lately.

"So...is it ok if I come over and get it fixed?"

"Yeah guess, what time should I tell Pinako you and Al will be here?"

"Oh yeah... it is just going to be me. Mustang has Al working his arse off, he let me off for a bit to get fixed up"

"Ok, What time?"

"Um 8ish?"

"Sure cya then."

"Bye"

Winry remembered the phone call as she marched towards the train station to meet her childhood friend.

She had missed Ed a lot lately. Pinako had heard her crying in her room one night and came in to see what was the matter. Winry had told her she stubbed her toe on the bed to avoid telling her grandmother the real reason. That she was really crying over Edward. She missed him so much. She wanted him to come home and stay home. Winry realized that the reason that she was feeling like this was because she loved him.

"He won't ever feel the same." She told herself.

"How can he? Why would he? I am an automail freak. My hair most of the time has some sort of grease in it. I'm sure I smell horrible whenever he is here. There are so many other pretty girls that I'm sure have introduced themselves to him and I'm sure that he thinks that they are much better than me. So what is the point in trying to get his attention with new clothes new ear piercings? What is the point in even living? Nobody cares for me." She thought these thoughts so often lately.

On top of the hill she could see the train station down the road. The train was already in and Ed was walking up the road to their house.

He saw Winry on the hill and smiled and waved with his good hand. She waved futilely back, sighing in the process.

He ran to the top of the hill to meet her at the top. Winry pushed her hair in her face as he came into view. She couldn't look at him properly anymore without feeling the need to cry.

"Hey Winry!"

"Hi Ed." She said gloomily.

"What's the matter?" he asked sensing her bad mood.

"Nothing." Winry said keeping face down.

"You seem...Don't worry."

They walked silently to the house.

Den barked as they approached.

"Hey Den!"Ed laughed and bounded up and petted him on the head. "Long time no see, hey?"

Winry walked past him and into the house silently. She got her tools ready and put them by the sofa as that was where Ed liked to do his repairs.

Ed finally came inside and sat on the couch. Winry got on her knees and grabbed his metal arm for inspection. Taking off the casing covering most of the wires she said,

"Yeah you were right there are a couple of fused wires in here...it wont take long to fix."

Winry worked away at his arm for a while in silence.

Suddenly Winry spoke making Ed jump.

"Did it hurt?"she said so quiet Ed had to strain to hear.

"Oh...um a little I guess." He grimaced remembering the fight.

"I'm sorry." She apologised

"Why are you sorry? I'm the one that did it!"

"Because I should have made it better in the first place"

"Don't be stupid Winry. You always make my automail perfect. This was my fault."

"If you say so." She sighed in response.

After the repairs were completed and Winry had packed up she made her way up to her room again, she could feel those pesky tears forming in her eyes once again.

"Hey Winry, I'm going to stay the night...is that ok? It's a little bit too late to head back to central now."

"Sure."Winry responded quietly. Not looking down at him from the stairs.

She closed the bedroom door and collapsed on the floor as she didn't make it too the bed before the bursts of tears made their way out.

Why couldn't he just tell just tell her straight out that he wasn't interested in her? And now that Ed was here it would be hard to for her to let him go in the morning.

A thought struck her then. She eyed the sharp knife on the table that she used to cut the tag off her new tank top this morning.

"What if I never had to see him leave again? What if I never had to wonder what he thought of me again? What if I just made it stop?"

Winry grabbed the knife and held it over her wrist. She knew it wasn't a very good time to do it with Ed in the house but she wouldn't have the guts to try again. And these things wouldn't matter once she wasn't in this world anymore.

Winry put pressure on the sharp knife and watched as the blood pooled and dripped down her arm, mixing in with the tears rolling down her face and falling onto the cut she was slowly making deeper.

She was startled by a loud knock on her door.

"Winry! Pinako says dinners almost ready! Come help me set the table!" Ed said

She accidently sobbed a little bit too loud. "Damn it Ed" she whispered into her hand.

"Winry? Are you ok?...I'm coming in."

"No..." she said not loud enough for him to care.

He opened the door and stood there for a minute taking in to what she was doing. The first thing he saw was all the blood soaking all the way down her arm. The next thing he noticed was the knife she was holding at her wrist. It didn't take long for him to register what she was doing.

"Holly, shi...Win" Ed whispered shocked in the doorway still.

Winry just cried more.

"Shhh" he tried to comfort her as he made his way to her spot in the middle of the room.

Ed pried her hand off the now bloody knife and dropped it on the floor. He looked around for something to soak up the blood in... Winry didn't keep tissues in her room as there was a supply in the bathroom, but Ed didn't feel safe to leave Winry alone for any longer than a second. So he stood up and took of first his red jacked and put it around her shoulders, then he took off his shirt and used it to put pressure to her cut, trying to stop the blood flow that was flowing from it.

He hugged her with one hand, the other on her wrist and let her cry into his chest.

"Why would you...what would want to make you want to end your own life?"Ed asked

"Why would you care if I was gone?"she whispered

He leaned back and took the shirt off her wrist. The blood kept coming and Winry was starting to feel light headed.

"It's not going to stop bleeding just like this. I'm going to get a bandage...can I trust you not to cut it again while I'm gone?" He asked, motioning to her wrist.

She only nodded in response.

Ed was only gone for a minute or so. He came back with the first aid kit and a wet face washer.

"Keep applying pressure" Ed told her.

He took her arm and gently wiped her blood from it. Then he bandaged her wrist up so it would stop bleeding.

"Are you feeling ok? Physically I mean...coz I kinda figured out that you're not ok mentally."

"I feel light headed" she mumbled

"Stay still for a bit, it should pass."

He finished with her bandage and packed up the first aid kid and pushed it aside. He hugged her even tighter when he had both hands free.

"Why would you take your life?" he decided to ask again

"Why does it matter? I am no one. No one cares so why should you even ask?"

"I care" Ed mumbled into the back if her neck.

Winry could feel tears coming to her eyes again. She was crying so much today.

"Win...I care." He said again. "You keep me going...you have no idea how much I've wanted to die...to let Scar or Envy kill me... but you keep me sane, you keep me from admitting defeat.

"There goes the tears again" she said to herself wiping her eyes in his shoulder

"Winry I..." he sighed.

"I love you...you know that right? I don't want you to leave me... I know I hardly ever call and only visit when I need repairs. But if you were to die I would have nothing to live for."

Winry cried harder. By him saying that meant it would be even harder than it would be already to watch him go tomorrow.

Ed hugged her till she couldn't cry anymore.

"I told Pinako that you fell and cut your wrist on a piece of metal up here...I think that's plausible knowing you." he explained

"So are you going to come down for dinner? We are having stew!" Ed laughed. Stew was his favourite.

"I'll come down" she mumbled still hugging ed. Not willing to let this moment end.

Finally they got up. As they walked together Ed placed his cold metal fingers on her wrist to ease the pain. Winry knew that they would act as if nothing happened even when they were alone together. But they both knew that they had feelings for each now, other beyond just friendship, and that would keep Winry from hurting herself again. Because Edward loved her. She had reason to live.

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Yeah pretty cheesy i know i know. Hope you didn't find it too boring. :S Ive got other stories in my head that im thinking of writing down so...hang tight? :P


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